


062. Spring - Easter Bunny Surprise (Remixed)

by Arok88



Series: The 100 [17]
Category: Backstreet Boys, Popslash
Genre: Anxiety, Depression, Easter, Holidays, M/M, References to Depression, Relationship(s), Sleep Deprivation, Surprises
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-14
Updated: 2021-03-14
Packaged: 2021-03-22 00:53:56
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,649
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30030534
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Arok88/pseuds/Arok88
Summary: “Dear Nicky, I know you’re feeling depressed and not like yourself right now so I thought maybe this Easter bunny would help cheer you up. I don’t want you to think that no one needs you because I need you more than you will ever know.”-------The Easter Bunny
Relationships: Nick Carter/Kevin Richardson
Series: The 100 [17]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2092305
Comments: 1
Kudos: 7





	062. Spring - Easter Bunny Surprise (Remixed)

**Author's Note:**

> So I wrote this original story in 2002. I decided to go back and edit it for part of my 100 table. The main story is the same but I've made several revisions and fluffed out a bit of it.

Nick sighed heavily as he closed the hotel door. Leaning back against the hard wood of the door, he yawned as he tiredly rubbed at his fatigued eyes. It had been a long day. Hell it had been a long week and there was no end currently in sight. Every part of his body was exhausted. Their grueling schedule never seemed to ease and night after night of go, go, go was starting to take its toll. Everything had just seemed like it had been going all wrong lately. Not only was he struggling physically, but his mental health had taken a hit as well. He felt depressed, anxious and overwhelmed most days. He snapped at the smallest things as he struggled to keep all of his emotion in check. His anxiety always seemed to get worse when he didn’t get enough rest and balance in his life. Right now the balance wasn’t even an option. He just had to keep doing his best and hold on as tightly as possible. Management had been pushing them hard for the past month. They’d had no days off and every day had been jammed pack from the time they woke up until they ended back at the hotel or the tour bus for the evening. The current plan was that if they worked hard enough, accomplished enough of management’s goals the rest of this week, that they could go home for Easter. Of course the plan had already changed twice so Nick wasn’t holding out hope that this one would work out either. 

Easter was still two weeks away. The holiday itself didn’t mean much to him. His family was never religious and they hadn't spent the holiday celebrating much more than some plastic baskets and jellybeans. He knew for the other guys, the holiday had strong family ties and they were much more interested in having the time off to go home to their families. Nick wasn’t even sure what he would do if they did get the time off. Maybe he’d rent a hotel room in the next city they were heading to and sleep the entire time. Days of uninterrupted sleep sounded really good to him, having to answer to no one, just days of peace and quiet to recharge. The mere prospect of a small vacation was always enough to motivate them into doing one more appearance, just one more interview. They were all running on virtually no sleep and it was all starting to catch up with Nick now, making him incredibly irritable. Every day he came back to the hotel room, dead on his feet like this made him question if he would even be able to physically make it until the break. He wasn’t even sure if he cared if he got Easter off anymore.

The exhaustion made his depression worse and that paired with his anxiety left him with crippling thoughts. Every night when he crawled alone into bed he couldn’t keep the nagging thoughts away. Nothing in his life mattered anymore. His “brothers” had no time for him. They were no longer the close knit group they once were. There were days that Nick had never felt more alone. Which was interesting to Nick because there had never been this many people around them at all hours of the day and night as they did show after show. They were all barely holding on, just doing the bare minimum to fulfil their obligations before returning to their own lives. Brian had Leigh and the baby, Alex was trying to get his relationship with Sarah back on track, Howie had his businesses and Kevin was in the middle of a messy divorce. Nick on the other hand didn’t have anyone. No girlfriend. No family. So what really was the point in any of this anymore? He’d asked himself that question so many nights, but he still didn’t have an answer. Thankfully he always seemed to fall into a restless sleep, forgetting momentarily how lonely he was and then by the next morning he was “on” again and barely had time to take a piss, let alone contemplate his purpose in life. The whole process would start over again the next night. 

His parents had practically disowned him the last time he’d talked to them. He’d finally gotten enough courage to tell his parents he was gay and they forced him out of their lives and in turn out of the lives of his siblings. They made sure he knew never to call them again. The whole experience had been so traumatic that he hadn’t gone through with his original plan of telling the other guys. While he didn’t really feel ashamed by his sexuality, he was tired of being treated like something was wrong with him just because he would rather be in love with a man rather than a woman. He had really believed at the time that telling his family was the best thing he could do. He didn’t want to hide anymore. But he never could have anticipated their reaction and he didn’t have the strength to go through the whole thing all over again with the other guys. He actually had no one he could trust, no one to confide in. He felt like part of him was dying slowly away. 

The group would more than likely disband at the end of this tour. He wasn’t really sure why he believed this part so strongly. It wasn’t like anyone had said as much, but it was just this nagging feeling he had. If he didn’t have this, then what did he have? Who was he if he wasn’t a Backstreet Boy? He wasn’t sure who would really notice he wasn’t around. That thought alone scared him. Just because they didn’t need him anymore didn’t mean that he didn’t need them. They were his life support. Each one helped make him to the person he was today. Their job of raising him was over now. It would be time for the baby bird to leave the nest, even if he wasn’t ready. He couldn’t help thinking he would surely crash and burn.

Nick opened up his eyes and glanced around the familiar hotel room. All the hotel rooms looked the same. It made it harder on him to remember what city they were in. He had given up trying to understand their schedule a long time ago. He just went where he was told and did what was asked of him. It was easier this way. He made his way to the bathroom and flicked on the light, avoiding looking at himself in the mirror as he went. His reflection was something he couldn’t stomach tonight. He finished his business and washed his hands. All he wanted to do was strip down and crawl in between the sheets. He glanced at the time on his watch. If he could fall asleep in the next hour he would get close to five hours before his wake up call would come and he had to start over again. He made his way through the room and sat on the edge of the bed to take his shoes off. Once those were off he stood and unbuttoned his jeans, sliding them down his muscled thighs and flinging them across the room with his foot. He would worry about the mess in the morning. He pulled his t-shirt from his head and sent it flying in the same general direction. 

As he went to lay down he noticed a huge Easter rabbit sitting prettily in the middle of the bed. It had white and brown marbled fur with a big blue ribbon tied around it’s neck. The ears had a soft blue fleece inlaid and so did it’s feet. The foot of the rabbit has his name stitched across the pad with white thread. Nick had never seen anything like it before. He picked it up off the bed to get a better look. The fur was so soft, softer than any stuffed animal he’d ever felt. It was cool to the touch and before he could stop himself, he was lifting the rabbit to his face, rubbing the soft fur against his heated cheeks and breathing in the slightly coconut scent of his fur. Something poked him in the cheek and he pulled the rabbit back to look. There was a note attached to the rabbit’s ears that he hadn’t noticed before. He carefully removed the note. It was a piece of notebook paper, torn and folded over. He opened it carefully, his eyes roaming the contents as he tried to digest the message as well as the presence of the gift in his hotel room. He didn’t recognize the handwriting and felt slightly on edge. 

_“Dear Nicky, I know you’re feeling depressed and not like yourself right now so I thought maybe this Easter bunny would help cheer you up. I don’t want you to think that no one needs you because I need you more than you will ever know.”_

_\-------The Easter Bunny_

Nick sat down on the bed shocked for a moment, the bunny cuddled in the crook of his arm. Whoever gave him the bunny must know him fairly well. They were able to get onto their hotel floor, into his hotel room. This “Easter Bunny” had to know him well to know what he was feeling considering he hadn’t talked about any of it to anyone. As hard as he tried, he couldn’t keep the grin from covering his face. Maybe he wasn’t so worthless after all.

He folded the note and put it on the nightstand so he could put it inside his wallet in the morning. He didn’t want to lose it. He pulled the blankets of the bed back and crawled under the mound of covers, bringing the bunny with him. He settled back against the pillows and brought the bunny close to his chest. He snuggled his face into the fur and fell into a peaceful sleep for the first night in weeks. 

\--

Three days later they were still working around the clock. Nick couldn’t remember the last time he’d gone this long without sleep. Even though management was giving them roughly five hours a night to sleep Nick couldn’t. He would lie in bed and stare at the ceiling for the longest time praying sleep would claim him but it never did. The bunny made him feel safe and loved and so he laid with it right beside him every night. He was exhausted beyond belief and extremely cranky. He snapped at everyone and was in a constant bad mood. It didn’t matter what he did, he would get maybe an hour of sleep and wake up when the wake up call came even more tired than the day before. He didn’t know how much longer he could keep this up. He kept slipping further and further into his depression and he couldn’t help feeling like there was no way to stop it.

Nick looked around the make up room and tried for the umpteenth time to figure out where his bunny came from. The bunny was one of the only things that made him happy anymore. It wasn’t the bunny itself it was just the feeling that someone out there cared enough about him to take the time to notice he was on a downward spiral and needed someone to care, needed to feel connected to someone. Someone cared about him. He had no idea who, but the fact that there was at least one person out there that did, gave him the push he needed to keep moving forward. 

Nick’s head pounded and he mentally hated himself for getting so drunk the night before. He figured that if he drank he’d be able to go to sleep better. So he had gone down to the hotel bar and drank way more than he should have. Alcohol proved to be an even worse idea for sleep. Instead of making him sleepy, he had somehow ended up more wired and tossed and turned for hours. Now he felt like shit and the rest guys were in a heated argument around him. He couldn't even be bothered to figure out what they were fighting about. It didn’t much matter to him anyway, he just wanted them to shut up. He tried to ignore them and block out the screaming but it was hard when he was sitting that close to them.

He walked further into the room and saw a small couch along one wall. Maybe he could rest for a few minutes and get away from the cacophony in the main room. Reaching the couch, he stretched out his long frame and tried to get comfortable. He dropped his bag on the floor and reached in to retrieve his rabbit. Once he had it in hand, he closed his eyes and curled up in a ball on the couch, settling his face against the soft surface of the bunny to help ease his headache. 

They were on an hour break while the photographer got the lighting equipment set back up and ready to go. He figured he’d try to sleep and someone would wake him up when it was time to get started. He closed his eyes and tried to think of things to make him sleepy. He felt the couch dip suddenly as someone sat down beside him. He opened his eyes slowly and blinked a couple of times as Kevin came into view.

“Cute rabbit,” he said softly.

Nick looked at him and then back down at his bunny before he hugged the stuffed animal tighter to his chest.  
‘Thanks Kev,” Nick said.

Kevin settled back against the cushions of the couch and patted his lap, indicating for Nick to come closer. Nick moved so his head was resting in Kevin’s lap and closed his eyes again, bunny still secure in his arms. Kevin began to run his fingers through his hair softly. Within minutes Nick was asleep for the first time in days.

\--

Later that night Nick found another Easter gift. He had gone back to his hotel room after eating dinner with the guys. He decided to shower and then try to go back to sleep. It had felt so good getting to sleep at the photoshoot. When he’d been gently shaken awake, he had felt better than he had in days. His head was still nestled in Kevin’s lap and he wondered if Kevin had really stayed there stroking his hair for the entire hour. He tried to ignore the fluttering in his chest when he thought about it. Feelings like that wouldn’t get him anywhere.

He made his way back upstairs to his hotel room and quickly surveyed the room to see if there were any new gifts. His eyes darted quickly around the room, landing on any obvious surface where a gift could be hiding. Seeing nothing he let out a small sigh. It was worth hope that there would be another gift. The note hadn’t said to expect anything else, maybe whoever had done this felt like bunny was enough. He turned on the stereo to drown out the silence in the room and removed his clothing. Once he was naked he stretched and made his way into the bathroom to take a hot shower. Maybe once he was clean he would be able to fall into bed and get some more sleep. He climbed in the shower and turned the water up as hot as it would go. He let the scalding water cascade down his body, turning his normally tanned flesh into a deep, hot red color. It felt good. His muscles were sore and every part of his body ached. A song he loved came on the radio and he got lost in singing the lyrics, letting the water and familiar tune lure him into a monetary state of bliss. Eventually the song changed and the hot water from the shower ran its course and turned cooler.

He’d spent so much time just enjoying the water that he would have to hurry to clean himself before the water turned ice cold. Once he was clean he stepped out into the bathroom and reached for the towel. Flicking away the moisture with the terry cloth of the towel, he reached for the sweatpants he’d managed to bring into the bathroom with him. He didn’t even bother with a shirt, just wrapped the towel around his neck and made his way back into the main room.

As he approached his bed he stopped suddenly, noticing someone had been there and left another gift. He felt his heart skip a beat at the implication. Someone had been in his room while he’d been in the shower. He cursed himself. If he had just waited to shower perhaps he would have been able to see the person face to face. He walked closer to the bed and sat down on the edge. 

Sitting on the bed was a huge chocolate bunny and a bag of jelly beans, the sour kind he loved. He smiled softly to himself as he sat down. There was another note propped up against the gift, the same notebook paper as before. He reached over and retrieved the note. The writing was the same as before. 

_“Nicky,  
I hope you like the gifts I’ve brought, be prepared for more. You need your rest, so don’t eat the chocolate tonight. Remember I love you and I want you to get some sleep!”_

_\------The Easter Bunny_

He smiled softly. He would be getting more gifts. Whoever was doing this loved him. Him, Nick. Not Nick Carter the Backstreet Boy, but just him. They had to be someone very close to him because he’d locked the door before going to shower so whoever it was had to have a key. He hoped that he would soon find out who it was. His mind swam with the possibilities of who it could be. He felt a heat pool in the depths of his belly as he allowed himself to believe for a moment that the gifter could be Kevin. He blinked away the moisture that pooled in his eyes every time he thought of his feelings for the other man. He couldn't pinpoint when he stopped seeing Kevin as just a brother and started seeing him as someone he would give anything to be with. It was a fantasy that would never be realized, but it was his. While Kevin as the Easter Bunny was extremely unlikely, the hope was enough to keep Nick’s spirit alive. In reality, it was probably someone like Howie, who always took notice of the things they all liked and needed. Yes, he could definitely see this as something Howie would do to cheer him up. He frowned and bit his lip as he reached into his backpack and pulled out his rabbit. He stuffed the candy inside the bag, knowing he wouldn’t eat any of it tonight. The note was right. He did need his sleep. He climbed under the covers, the bunny and the note within arms reach. He rubbed his face against the soft fur of the bunny’s chest and fell into a deep sleep, imagining Kevin dressed up as a bunny. 

\--

Nick checked for his next gift every time he entered his hotel room. Two days later it finally came.

They had been doing meet and greets all morning and Nick was tired of smiling for the camera. The smile was fake and doing it over and over again made his cheeks hurt. He just wanted to go back to the hotel and rest. It was really hot in the arena and for some crazy reason management had decided they needed to wear coordinating itchy wool sweaters. Nick had been hot for hours and wanted nothing more than to strip the sweater off and burn it. He kept counting down the minutes until they could leave for the hotel. 

They had met a million fans and taken countless pictures. Nick was really struggling, but kept trying to push forward, knowing how much these events meant to the fans. On an ordinary day, they meant a lot to him too. It was nice to be able to have a few minutes to chat with fans and be able to connect with other people. This was not one of those ordinary days. His head pounded and he needed pain medication to ease the throbbing in his temples. They hadn’t had a break in hours and Nick kept feeling like he was going to pass out before too much longer. He had long since run out of water and his throat was sore and scratchy. He ached for more water. His skin felt like it was on fire and he wanted to cry from the discomfort. He looked at the long line of fans and knew it would still be awhile before he could break away and refill his water bottle. 

He had to pretend to be happy for the fans while on the inside he felt like he was dying. He had gotten up too late and hadn’t been able to eat all morning and his stomach was craving food of any kind. He knew he needed a break, but it was useless in asking for one so he tried to push on. His stomach grumbled loudly and he knew that the first course of action once they were released was to find something to eat. 

He walked further down the line to meet a group of fans, but got extremely dizzy and had to stop. He felt the room tilt to the side and his feet grow unsteady under his weight. He reached out wildly with his hands to grab on to the closest thing to him and gripped onto Kevin’s arm as he felt his legs give out from under him and he landed on the floor with Kevin on top of him.

Nick felt the air being knocked out of him and closed his eyes as his head hit the floor. He blinked up at Kevin as he tried to figure out what had happened. Kevin’s eyes were wide, a look of concern evident in the pools of emerald green. Nick could get lost in them. He closed his eyes tighter, trying desperately not to react to the weight on the other man firmly on top of him in a room full of people. He breathed a sigh of relief as Kevin got up and lent a hand down to help him off the floor.

‘You ok?” Kevin asked him softly.

”I feel weird and I’m so hot and dizzy,” Nick rasped out, still dizzy and even more parched than he’d been before.

Kevin looked at him for a second concerned for a second, but made sure he was steady on his feet. He turned and walked away to talk to management. Kevin came back a few moments later with Nick’s backpack and rabbit in hand. Ever since Nick had gotten the rabbit he never went anywhere without it.

“Here baby, go back to the hotel and lay down. I cleared it with management. You need to rest. I told them you were sick,” Kevin said softly.

Nick smiled weakly, relief flooded his body at the prospect of getting something to eat and a nap before their show that night. Kevin pulled Nick into his arms and held him tightly against his chest. Nick breathed in the scent of the other man as his arms gripped his shoulders, hugging tight. When they broke apart, Kevin reached out and cupped Nick’s cheek before giving him a small smile. Nick tried to smile back but was so tired and dead on his feet he only managed a small grimace. Nick left the arena and got into the van waiting to transport them back and forth. Once inside the van he pulled the offer sweater off of his heated skin and threw it on the seat in front of him. Finally able to breathe he leaned back against the seat and closed his eyes. He asked the driver to turn up the air conditioner as high as it would go and settled in for the ride back to the hotel. 

Once he got back to the hotel he immediately tore his t-shirt off. He kicked off his dress pants and stood in just his boxers. He threw his backpack up on the table and dug through the bag in search of Tylenol for his splitting headache. He smiled triumphantly when he found it and went to the refrigerator and got a bottle of water.  
He shook three pills out and took them with a big gulp of water, sucking the cool liquid down his aching throat. He closed his eyes as he poured the reminder of the water over his head. It helped cool his body down some more.

He opened his eyes slowly and his frown turned into a beautiful smile as he realized his “Easter Bunny” had been there. Sitting on his bed was a huge Easter basket filled full of candy and filled Easter eggs. His smile grew even bigger as he neared the bed and found another note nestled inside the basket. He reached out a shaky hand and extracted the note from the colorful display of candy and basket grass. 

_“Dear Nicky,_

_Be expecting one last gift. I hope you’ll like what I have planned for your final gift. I hope you accept it as well as you have the others. I’m glad to see you are starting to take better care of yourself. I worry about you. You don’t appear to be as tired as you have been. You still need to eat more and make sure you are getting enough rest. Here are some treats and goodies to help put a smile on your beautiful face. I love you”_

_\-------The Easter Bunny_

One more gift, he had to wait just a little longer to find out who his secret Easter Bunny was. He still could hope that it was him, right? He knew it wouldn’t be, but nobody ever found harm in hoping.

\--

Nick waited impatiently for his last gift for two days. It seemed much more like he’d been waiting for a year though. He had a feeling that this gift was going to be big, or at the very least, tell him who was the one responsible for the secret presents and notes. He often caught himself daydreaming about who and what it could be. It made work go by faster. So he opted to think about his Easter Bunny rather than pay attention to the things happening around him. Between the notes and the excitement of the next gift coming, NIck had felt better than he had in weeks. He didn’t feel quite so isolated and alone. He found himself thinking about how sad he would be when the whole exchange was over. It was so nice to feel like someone cared about him. It had been exactly what he needed to get through these past few weeks and he wasn’t sure if he would be okay with losing the feeling of happiness when the gifts stopped. 

Easter was in 2 days and they were free for their vacation after tonight’s concert. Nick was actually surprised that their management team had kept their promise for time off. They would get a whole week to do whatever they wanted before they would be expected in the next city. Nick had already called and reserved a room at the hotel they would eventually check into. He didn’t plan on being conscious for most of the next week. Nick constantly wondered if he would get his last gift before they all went their separate ways and left for their vacation or not.

He had been late for breakfast every day that week. He opted to stay in bed rather than get up and eat. He was finally getting three to four hours of sleep rather than the one hour so he gladly traded the meal time for the sleep his body needed. The only problem was they often went straight through without stopping for lunch or dinner. By the time they had time to eat again it was time to go to sleep. Nick was feeling weaker than usual due to the lack of healthy food. He ate the candy from his Easter eggs every chance he got. He wasn’t sure he would have been able to eat anything if he hadn’t had it right there in his backpack. He lived on the jellybeans and chocolate stuffed inside the eggs. 

He wandered around backstage of the venue they were performing at. He was bored out of his mind. They had a couple hours left before the show started and they weren’t allowed to leave the venue. He made his way to his dressing room. He retrieved his bunny and jellybeans from his backpack and curled up in the nearest chair. His long legs hung over the side and he struggled to get comfortable. He laid there for a few short moments thinking about his gifts before the darkness overtook him and he drifted into a light sleep.

\--

Once Nick ran off the stage people started congratulating him and the rest of the guys on a job well done. Someone threw him a towel and he wrapped it around his neck and took off for his bus. He was hot and sweaty and he desperately needed a shower. The buses were taking them to the hotel where they were told they were free until their next appearance a week later. Nick was full of energy considering his nap before the show. He had kept his room at the hotel for another night and planned on flying out in the morning. He would take a shower and order room service and hopefully get some sleep before he had to be at the airport. 

Once Nick got into his hotel room he immediately headed for the shower. His clothes and hair were sticking to him, matted with sweat and it was making him extremely uncomfortable and itchy. He took his shower slowly enjoying the hot water on his body. Once all the hot water was gone he got out and put on his Easter boxers; an old present from his mother the year before. He felt his heart grow heavy thinking about her. He closed his eyes tight and blinked back tears. He would not let her get to him. This would be his first Easter that he wasn’t even invited to attend with his family. He immediately scolded himself for thinking about her and the horrible words she had said to him.

He left the bathroom and checked the locks on the door. He didn’t want to fall asleep and leave the doors unlocked. Security and everyone was flying home that evening, anxious to get home for the holiday. Nick wasn’t so anxious and wasn’t flying out till tomorrow morning he was the only one still at the hotel; or so he thought.

It wasn’t until he heard a throat clear that Nick noticed someone was in the room with him. Nick turned and saw someone lying on his bed. He felt his breath hitch and his stomach did a flip-flop. There, lying on his bed looking hotter than ever was Kevin. Nick’s mind started running a million mile a minute and he felt his mouth go dry. Kevin locked his gaze with Nick’s.

“W Wh what are you doing here Kev?” Nick asked stuttering a little, “I thought everyone had left already,”

“I couldn’t leave without giving you your last present, Nicky” Kevin said softly. 

Nick felt his eyes expand to the size of golf balls and his jaw drop. A million thoughts ran through his head all at once. “It’s you?” Nick managed to choke out.

Kevin nodded his head and started to approach Nick. “You surprised?” he asked him softly.

Nick nodded lightly.

‘You disappointed?” Kevin questioned.

Nick shook his head back and forth “no” Kevin laughed lightly and smiled. Kevin advanced even closer to Nick and took him in his arms. Nick hugged him back tightly. Kevin inhaled the scent that was distinctly Nick, and buried his face in Nick’s neck.

“What’s my last gift, Kev?” Nick whispered huskily.

Kevin pulled Nick even closer and began to grind his hips into Nick’s. “Me, that is if you want me,” Kevin rasped out.

“Oh yeah, I want you,” Nick said softly.

Nick kissed Kevin forcefully and started leading him backwards towards the bed. Kevin felt the backs of his knees hit the bed and he pulled Nick down beside him breaking their kiss. Nick wrapped his arms around Kevin’s waist and snuggled into his side.

“I love you,” Kevin said honestly as he pulled Nick further up into his arms. 

“I love you to Kev, so much,” Nick admitted softly, turning to look up into Kevin’s deep green eyes. “Why did you do this?” 

“I figured it was the easiest way to tell you how I felt,” Kevin smiled a little. “Besides I wanted you to have an Easter surprise.” 

Kevin leaned down and captured Nick’s lips once again with his own and Nick fell into the kiss, tightening his hold on the other man. He felt every doubt and insecurity melt away as Kevin continued to place kisses on his cheeks and forehead before returning back to his lips. Nick sighed into the kiss, feeling for the first time like things would really be okay, that someone really did care.


End file.
